


Kiss Me

by howsthismylife



Series: Under The Tree [2]
Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Comfort, First Kiss, Hurt, M/M, Romance, idk how to tag, part 2 of Under the Tree series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-07-15 22:12:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7240543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howsthismylife/pseuds/howsthismylife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the ride home, Sam was quiet, but Dean knew better. He knew his brother’s mind was formulating thoughts and theories, and Dean could practically hear the gears working. His brother’s intelligence was both a blessing and a curse when it came to these situations, and so he didn’t gave Sam a chance to say anything and he said, “No Chik-flick moments, Sam, or I swear to God.”</p><p>Sam snorted, “You don’t believe in God.”</p><p>“No Chik-flick moments!”</p><p>-<br/>Following their story after Meet Me where Dean catches feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> im throwing in some angst at you guys. i'd say this is nothing compared to the next installment i'd call 'Strip Me'
> 
> id write smut i promise.
> 
> this is not beta read so sorry for the errors

  
Dean met Castiel’s brother, Gabriel Novak, one Thursday afternoon as they were walking towards the parking lot. It had become a habit: Dean would linger on his locker until he spots Castiel, Castiel greeting him as always, chatting a little bit before heading outside. Sometimes Charlie would join them, looking between the two of them with a curious glint in her eyes, at times he’d talk to Benny before waving over at Castiel. He had introduced Castiel to his small group of friends one school day. Cas had been his usual quiet self but would be seen smiling from time to time when Charlie would say something funny – mostly at Dean’s expense, but he’d like the smile on Castiel’s face to feel grumpy about it. They had taken Castiel in without any questions – aside from the occasional smirk from Benny, or a nudge from Garth. It was in fact rare for Dean Winchester to be the one to initiate.

  
Dean was talking to Castiel about one of their subjects, professing his hate on Chemistry which earned a soft chuckle from Cas. That was the first laugh Dean heard from the other guy and hoped to be one of the many more in the future.

  
He first spotted the Continental as they passed the double doors. Dean had wondered who’d drive such an old model and was about to joke about it when Castiel spoke, “That’s my brother,” and right on cue the door opened and out stepped a guy shorter than Cas with brown hair.

  
If Dean would describe Gabriel Novak on their first meeting it would be ‘different,’ different in a sense that Gabriel was the exact opposite of Castiel; where Cas was quiet and calculated, Gabriel was loud, talkative and all smiley.

  
“Cassie!” he noticed the grimace Castiel gave when Gabriel walked towards them, Dean noticing a lollipop sticking in his mouth. “And who do we have here?”

  
“Gabriel, this is Dean. Dean, this is my older brother, Gabriel.” Castiel deadpanned.

  
“Socializing aren’t we?” Gabriel wiggled his eyebrow at Castiel, and to Dean he offered his hand and said, “It’s nice to meet you, Dean. I hope you’re looking after my lil’ ol’ brother here, he hasn’t scared you off yet so that’s probably good.”

  
Dean shook Gabriel’s hand. He heard Castiel sighed and exasperated, “Gabriel,” and thought that this was a regular occurrence between brothers.

  
Up close, Dean noticed that Gabriel didn’t share his brother’s blue eyes. Gabriel’s were brown like honey, like light hugging amber.

  
They said goodbye after that, Castiel offering him an apologetic smile, and suddenly he was left alone, watching the brother’s backs as they both head to their car, noticing Gabriel laughing and Castiel hunching his back even more. Dean had had wondered about the different sides of Castiel Novak, and seeing him with his brother revealed that. Castiel was different with his brother as Dean was with his.

  
“Stop ogling, jerk, let’s go,” he heard Sam before he saw him, slapping him playfully on his back.

  
“I—” Dean huffed and followed his brother to his car, his ’67 Chevrolet Impala that his dad gave him on his 16th birthday. “You’re making dinner, bitch,” he said as he slipped in the driver’s seat. He could hear his brother grumbling but no protest.

  
He spots the Continental driving off before he started the engine, biting off a smile.

 

+++

 

The next day at lunch, Dean smiled when Castiel seats across him. He noticed Charlie biting her lip beside Cas, and he glared at her. Ever since he introduced Castiel to her and offered to seat with them at lunch she had been pestering Dean about the nature of their relationship. Charlie had this habit of ‘shipping’ people – whatever that meant, making portmanteau off of their names like she had done one time she cornered Dean at his locker excitedly telling him about DeanCas or Destiel – he doesn’t remember, too busy smiling at Castiel as he spotted him coming out of one of the rooms.

  
Dean had shrugged it off as nothing but one of Charlie’s daily tirades about things she found fascinated about. But it doesn’t mean that it didn’t stick in Dean’s head. Because it did, and as silly as Dean thought it was, there was a lingering feeling inside him that what he had with Cas was different from the rest sitting at their lunch table.

  
One by one they had started asking Castiel about questions: like where he was from, does he have any siblings, what his favorite subject was, does he like animals, etc. Dean kept quiet all the time, watching Castiel from time to time with a soft smile on his lips. So far they haven’t asked any rude questions and Dean appreciated them for it. Castiel answered them all his eyes darting from Charlie to Benny to Garth then back to Dean. He noticed the crinkle on Castiel’s eyes whenever Cas would laugh at something funny Garth said, or the way Castiel would tilt his head like Dean had seen Castiel do a dozen times already, or the way Castiel would scrunch slightly and narrow his eyes when he was thinking carefully what to say.

  
Dean noticed them all; from the layers that Castiel was wearing to Castiel’s layers being taken off one by one as Dean silently got to know him little by little, but Dean knew that there was something more, something more to Castiel having a brother, to him liking Biology, to him reading books about bees and flowers. There was something more, and Dean wanted to be the one to unravel it.

  
And as the bell rang and they got to their feet to go to their classes, and that afternoon where Dean walked with Castiel to the parking lot, their hands brushing momentarily, that Dean knew that Castiel’s layers weren’t the only one being shed. And for once in Dean Winchester’s highschool life he hadn’t mind.

 


	2. Chapter 2

  
“You know I don’t mind, Dean,” Sam says one night. They’re lounging at their living room, with Sam reading a book about history, and Dean watching a movie. He looks at his brother and quirks a brow. Sam looks back at him and adds, “About Cas.”

  
“What about him?” Dean says, turning back to the TV.

  
“You know well what I’m talking about,” says Sam, and when Dean looks at him again he’s wearing one of his patented ‘Bitch Face’ this one reads ‘You know well what I’m talking about.’ It’s amazing really, how Sam has different settings on his face that conveys different messages. He’s seen Sam slowly develop his ‘Bitch Faces’ and Dean have been cataloguing it at the back of his mind.

  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sammy,” he shrugs. He gets to witness an amazing feat when Sam raises his brow by a fraction and suddenly it reads ‘Don’t bullshit me.’ He decides to ignore it.

  
“I know you don’t like chick-flick moments, Dean –,”

  
“And yet you’re still talking,”

  
“—I just want you to know that I’m okay with it,” Sam raises his voice a little. “You should do whatever makes you happy. I’ll support you.”

  
After seconds of silence Dean grumbles, “Thanks.”

  
He hears Sam close his book, shifting in his seat to face him, calling his name. Dean finally gives up, rolls his eyes and turns to his brother. They’re apparently doing this.

  
“Dean –,”

  
“Sam,”

  
Sam rolls his eyes but proceeds, “I know we don’t talk about feelings a lot – don’t interrupt me – but I need you to understand that I – you’re my brother. We have each other. And as your brother I only want the best for you.”

  
Dean has to look away. Sam’s expression is too pure for him, too innocent and honest. They don’t talk about feelings because their father saw it as weakness, but from time to time they’d share moments like this where they let their guard down. Apparently they’re due today because Sam is still looking at him expectantly.

  
“I want the best for you, too, Sam.” He says. “You’re the only one I have.”

  
“We still have —,”

  
“We –,” he sighs, “We only have each other, Sammy.” He had come to terms that his father didn’t seem to care for them as much as he had used to a long time ago. He only has Sam now.

  
“So,” Sam smiles, “You and Cas?”

  
Dean smiles, “Me and Cas.”

  
He had found Cas one afternoon sitting with his brother at the library when Dean went to gather some research material for his English paper. He had been surprised to spot the two sharing a table together at the far end, and so he went to say hi. Apparently they had bonded over a book about Greek mythology when Cas was browsing for books and Sam offered to suggest some. Cas was polite about it, always was, by the look on Sam’s face.

  
Dean went to gather books before sitting with them, beside Cas.

  
They started chatting; Cas asking Dean what he was doing at the library, “Are you lost?” Cas had asked with his deep voice in a deadpanned manner, and it took Dean a while to figure out Cas was joking. That was the first time he heard Cas genuinely laugh, there in the quietness of the library.

  
He had been happy about it. He was witnessing Cas be more and more comfortable as the week passed by. Dean liked to think that he had contributed to that. Castiel was easy to talk to, and was a great listener.

  
He caught Sam looking at both of them when he and Cas started arguing quietly about the importance of books when there was already an internet. Dean knew his brother was smart, always observing and calculative like Cas, and so he wasn’t at all that surprised when he noticed that glint in his brother’s eyes like he was amused by what he was seeing. Suddenly, Dean had felt a little self-conscious.

  
Time passed by, and before they knew it they needed to head back home when Gabriel had called Cas.

  
At the ride home, Sam was quiet, but Dean knew better. He knew his brother’s mind was formulating thoughts and theories, and Dean could practically hear the gears working. His brother’s intelligence was both a blessing and a curse when it came to these situations, and so he didn’t gave Sam a chance to say anything and he said, “No Chik-flick moments, Sam, or I swear to God.”

  
Sam snorted, “You don’t believe in God.”

  
“No Chik-flick moments!”

 

+++

 

Before ‘The Night’ – Dean is to dub it as ‘The Night:’ the night of acceptance, the night of unsaid confessions, and the night of their once-a-year-chick-flick-moment, Dean started to notice a slight change on his friendship with Cas. He had remembered that one time as they sat Under the Tree and Castiel had fidgeted as he occasionally looked at Dean with hesitation in his eyes and asked Dean if they were friends. It had taken a couple of seconds before Dean could register what Cas had said, furrowing his brows at the other, before saying, “Of course, Cas. We’ve been friends for almost two months now,” and he had just heard a soft “Oh,” from Cas but there was a soft smile on the guy’s face.

  
It was crazy for Castiel to think that he and Cas weren’t friends – that he needed to ask Dean if they were friends. But then again, Castiel had been different from the others from the start. It hit Dean with realization that maybe Cas wasn’t used to having friends, that maybe Castiel thought that they were friends but was unsure and saw Dean’s companionship as less. So, Dean lets Cas know.

  
“You’re my friend, Cas,” Dean had said, looking Castiel at the eyes, “We’re friends, and so are Charlie, and Garth, and Benny, and Sammy. We’re you’re friends.” He put a hand on Castiel’s shoulders and felt the other relax and smile fully, like Dean had just given him something precious. And maybe it was. Dean was used to making friends easily that he hadn’t thought about how others who weren’t like him – who were like Cas, felt. He hadn’t appreciated friendship in a long time – took it for granted at times. Cas opened his eyes again, and now he’s awake.

  
That was the time Cas started getting comfortable around them; smiling more, engaging in conversation with the others, and Dean would always get that smile when Cas would greet him first before the others.  
That was also the time that Dean noticed he wasn’t the only one staring. Often times he’d catch Castiel staring at him, and when Dean did catch the other staring, it would always be him first to look away.

  
He had started noticing little things. Like how Dean would feel warmth creeping up his neck to his face when he and Cas would share a gaze longer than he’d allowed himself, or how Cas sits closer to him from Under the Tree during their free period, or how Dean would always make jokes just to hear the rumble of Cas’ laugh, just little things that had Dean scared because he wasn’t stupid, he knew what this meant, and Dean couldn’t afford to feel because there was always that inevitability that their family would move again and Dean would be faced with all his bottled up thoughts of what ifs and feelings that would make him put more layers and shut off the world.

  
Dean was scared of the possibilities. He was scared of the possibilities of the idea of what Cas had to offer.

  
So he did the only thing he was good at. Dean tried to distance himself, slowly, from Castiel, had tried to make empty excuses to lessen the time he gets with Cas.

  
Dean had to kill whatever is was inside of him before it starts to grow and consume him.

  
But then his chest ached a little when Dean had not seen Castiel one morning during their English class or the next two classes he had shared with Cas with or during lunch or during his free period where he fast-walked towards at Under the Tree, silently hoping that Cas might be there but wasn’t, or the next day and the day after that.

  
Dean had wondered, wondered so hard what had happened. Because nobody just disappears like that for any reason unless they’re sick, and Castiel was really far from normal than any other teen he had met for a simple excuse like that.

  
He had elected the help of Charlie. Dean doesn’t have Castiel’s number, or anyway to contact him, so he went to Charlie and asked her to hack the school’s records to get Castiel’s address. It hadn’t taken long. Charlie was very efficient when she was concentrating. Dean had thanked her as he sprinted towards his car that afternoon to go to Castiel’s house, barely hearing Charlie’s shout, “You owe me, Winchester! LARP!”

  
Dean was worried. Of course he was. Castiel was something … something different than the other and Dean was man enough to admit that at least.

  
He clutched the piece of paper Charlie gave him, contacted his brother to let him know he’d visit Cas – told him to get a ride with Charlie to home (“Take care, okay? Sam had said over the phone, clearly worried as well, “Tell Cas I said hi. I’ll see you at home.”), and went to the parking lot towards his impala. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just realized i wrote this while tipsy.
> 
> this doesnt make sense i guess.

  
The Novak’s household wasn’t what Dean was expecting. He looked at the piece of paper that contained a scribble of Cas’ address and sighed. They apparently lived above the candy store called ‘Sweeter Tooth’ and below it, it read ‘Sweeter than Sweet Tooth.’ He snorted.

  
There was a doorbell just beside the shop’s double doors. He was about to press it when he noticed Gabriel inside, behind the counter. So, Dean got inside the ‘Sweeter Tooth’ and Gabriel noticed him immediately. Gabriel’s expression changed from excited – as he talked to the little boy whose chin was perched on the counter, to dark in a matter of seconds. He hadn’t seen that expression in a long time.

  
“Dean,” Gabriel greeted, his usual cheery tone replaced by a colder one.

  
“Gabriel,” he nodded. “I’m here to see Cas?”

  
“Why?”

  
“I –,” Dean paused, thinking of things to say, “I was worried. He hadn’t been at school in three days. Is he okay?”

  
“No, Dean. Castiel is not okay.”

  
He swallowed, shifting his weight from foot to foot. They stared at each other for a while. There weren’t any customers left to entertain. Gabriel must have seen the pained expression on his face because Gabriel took a deep breath and sighed.

  
“Meg!” Gabriel called at the back, “Can you man the register for a while? I’m going upstairs.”

  
A woman came out of the backroom with raised brows and said, “I’m not gonna ‘man’ the register, I’m gonna ‘woman’ it!”

  
“Whatever floats your lady boat,” Gabriel rolled his eyes.

  
“Check on Clarence for me, will you?” Meg said as Gabriel grabbed Dean’s arm and lead him out of the store.

  
“Follow me, Dean-o.”

  
Gabriel led him to their apartment upstairs. Dean wasn’t really expecting anything but he hadn’t expected their apartment to be so bare, so cold.

  
Dean eyed the sofa, it was beige just like Cas’ trench coat, there was no television, only a coffee table that had nothing on it. The walls were grey; paint peeling from the corners like it had been like that even before they moved in. There was a bookshelf on one side but there were only a couple of books.

  
“It’s not much,” Gabriel had said, “We don’t really need much. But its home . . . I guess. Needs a little color, I know. And a TV, maybe.”

  
Dean thought it needed more than that as Gabriel led him to what he thought was Cas’ room. It needed warmth.

  
Gabriel softly knocked on the door, leaned his ears towards it and called his brother. He turned to Dean and said, “He’s a little sensitive right now. Don’t – ” Gabriel paused, seemingly thinking of better words to say, then he continued, “Just don’t yell at him or something.”

  
Dean nodded. Gabriel walked away, telling him he’d be back at the shop before Meg gave out free candy, again, to everyone, and suddenly Dean was alone in their bare and cold apartment wondering if the door to Cas’ room would open.

  
He was about to knock when the door creaked open. He had a glimpse of Cas and Dean had to bite his lips as not whimper.  
There were dark circles under Castiel’s eyes like he hadn’t had a proper sleep in days, his shirt rumpled, and his mussed hair that Dean had associated with his friend was even more unkempt.

  
Castiel turned his back and Dean slowly went inside. Just like the rest of the apartment, Cas’ room was bare, aside from the twin bed that looked like it hadn’t been slept on for quite a while – or maybe Cas just liked it neat that way. The walls were a depressing blue, in contrast with Castiel’s bright blue eyes. There were books littered on the floor to where Dean supposed Cas was reading, and taped on the walls were pencil drawings of angels.

  
“Did you draw those?” Dean had asked but was met with silence.

  
He did not know where to put himself in the privacy of Cas’ room so he just stood behind the door. He watched Castiel as he took a seat on the floor and sighed. “What are you doing here, Dean?” Cas’ voice was even raspier than he had recalled like Cas had not used it for a while. Dean realized then how he had missed Castiel’s voice.

  
“I –,” Dean didn’t get to finish what he was supposed to say when Castiel spoke, “Have I done anything to upset you, Dean?”

  
Castiel looked at him then. His eyes that reminded Dean of the beach suddenly turned into a rainy night.

  
“What?” he muttered.

  
“If there were anything I did to upset you then I apologize,” Cas said. “I – I’m not very good at deciphering emotions but I do notice miniscule things.”

  
So, Cas had noticed then. Dean suddenly felt stupid.

  
“It’s nothing to do with you, Cas,” he cleared his throat. “It’s all me.”

  
“How so?” Castiel said, his eyes were trained on him, and when Dean didn’t reply he continued, “You’re the first friend I had in a while, Dean. If – if I did something you didn’t like then please tell me so I can change.”

  
“You don’t need to change anything, Cas,” he whispered. If there’s someone who needed to change then its Dean. “I’m – I have a lot of baggage in me,” was all he said. He couldn’t explain to him how his father’s views and ideals had molded him, how every word was engraved in his mind, that he was scared of the possibility of having more – when God, Dean wanted more, but knew he couldn’t because of their unstable lives. They’d only get hurt when the time comes.

  
“We all have baggage, Dean,” Castiel stood up. And just like the wind, Dean found himself standing in front of him, almost unnoticed. “You can tell me.”

  
He swallowed. He could feel his eyes threatening to water. If this was Sam he’d just brush it off and ignore his brother until their next due chick-flick moment, but this was Cas; Cas who needed reassuring that they were friends, Cas who had seemed unsure and out of place when he first sat with them at lunch when Dean invited him, Cas who was too innocent and pure for some fear Dean had.

  
“I was afraid,” he whispered, clenched his jaws and dared to look in Castiel’s eyes. The storm had passed, it was slowly clearing again.

  
“I’m afraid, too,” Castiel said softly, “Afraid that if I don’t do anything, that I’d lose you, too.”

  
Dean didn’t know when or how it happened. He had felt their hands brushing until his hands were clasped with Castiel’s and Dean had to take a breath and feel the warmth of Cas’ hands against his. “What are you afraid of, Dean?”

  
And Dean didn’t have the answers to that. He had never been good with words; he had used words with his charm to get what he wants but never what he needed. And it hit Dean like a ton of bricks and realized that he needed this: the warmth of Castiel’s hand, those eyes, now clear as day that reminded him of that time they laid on the grass to watch at the sky, Cas greeting him before others. He had needed this for a long time but was scared. Dean needed Cas like he was a breath of fresh air promising a better day.

  
So no, Dean hadn’t been always good with words. But he was very good at showing people how much he cared. So he showed Cas how much he needed him as he inched his head slowly and kissed him. And suddenly, Dean was flooded with a memory of firsts: the first time he’d seen Castiel sitting at his usual spot from Under the Tree, the first time Castiel smiled at him, the first time Castiel had called Dean by his name, the first time Castiel laughed, the first time their hands brushed together. It was all too much yet it seemed not enough.

  
He felt Cas’ arms slowly wrap around his middle, and Dean cupping Castiel’s face. He smiled then, wondering why he was afraid in the first place. His father might not see this as how Dean sees it but he was sure his mother would not care. She had always been a gentle soul, telling Dean to do what’s good for him. And this was good for him; with Cas in his arms, and Dean’s lips on his.   
It felt right.

 

+++

 

They lay on the floor together, after the kiss. He’d told Castiel how he liked it when Cas blushed, and Cas shoved him playfully. They were staring at the ceiling when Dean finally said, “My dad is away on a job and hasn’t come home yet.” Castiel found his hand before squeezing it. Dean would figure where he stood when he gets home, but for now he’d take it all in.

  
Cas didn’t say anything after that, and Dean was grateful for it. They’ll shed their layers slowly. Dean knows they’ll get there.  
He received a text from Sam, telling him his brother had ordered pizza. He had almost forgotten about him.

  
He slowly stood up, telling Cas he needed to get home because of Sam, and Castiel kissed him once more. It was sweet, and this time Dean lingered.

  
Cas led him to the door of their apartment, smiling at him and telling him he’d be back at school tomorrow. “I’ll be expecting you,” Dean had said, and Castiel nodded with a soft chuckle.

  
They stared at each other for a while, only this time Dean’s not looking away. And before Dean bid his goodbye, Castiel had said, “My father left and never came back,” and offered a sad smile. They pressed their foreheads against each other. Dean wanted to stay and learn more, but he had needed to go. He felt Castiel’s pain right then; and another layer were shed. Dean had kissed him goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> kudos and comments are appreciated.
> 
> please let me know what you think.


End file.
